Apparently Seattle is going to get hit with a massive wind storm tonight, the likes of which haven’t been seen around here since ’93. And since I was 13 and living in Salem, OR back in ’93, those likes have never been seen by me. Does that sentence make sense? It did in my head, but it looks a little funny now that it’s in print. But I’m going to leave it. That’s how I roll.
Anyway–Storm Watch ’06 has commenced. I guess the Puget Sound might be loosing power for 3 days or something, and it is this fact that has forced me to once again reconsider just what the fuck I am thinking with this whole joining of the Peace Corps deal. My immediate reaction upon hearing about the no power thing was “Oh man, I’m going to be so bored! And I’m supposed to get Disc 4, Season 2 of Lost tonight! WTF!”
I’m not proud of it, but it’s the cold hard truth. No thought of the hardships others might be forced to go through. No thought of the danger people might be in. Just intense concern for myself that I might have to wait an extra couple of days before gazing adoringly at Matthew Fox again, drunk on the beauty of this stubbly face.
And it gets worse. You might think I would redeem myself with my second thought. But no. No. My second thought was for the food in my fridge. “My dear goat cheese, how will YOU weather this storm? Will I be forced to eat you all in one sitting tonight, slathering you on everything that will hold still long enough (watch out Winston Churchill), rather that risk the chance of loosing you forever? And you, sweet, sweet, hummus. How will you bear the indignity of death by slow warming? Fear not. I will honor you with pita. Be brave, my friends, be brave.”
At some point, maybe ten minutes into my pre-mourning session, it dawned on my that I have VOLUNTEERED to move to a place where there will most likely NEVER be electricity. And then I thought, and I kid you not, “Wait a minute. What the fuck am I going to DO over there?” Sometimes I can’t believe they even let me in. I mean, it’s not like I told them these things at the interview. “I firmly believe in the grass roots philosophy behind this program, and can’t wait to be a force for positive change in the world. Oh and by the way, I’m not willing to live anywhere that doesn’t have Tivo. Can’t live without my stories!” I know that I will be fine in whatever living conditions I end up being placed in. But every once in a while, I find myself having thoughts like the ones I had today, and that’s when I realize I’d better…pardon me for saying so…check myself before I wreck myself.
Because here’s the deal: the gift of the Peace Corps (said the girl who doesn’t even leave for 9 more months and really has no idea what she is talking about) is that for two years you get to have your priorities straightened the fuck out. It’s not like all I care about now are TV shows and fancy cheeses (although I would sell my own sister for a lifetime supply of provolone–but ONLY for a lifetime supply). I think over all I have a pretty good grasp on what’s actually important in life. But I can only assume that going to and AIDS ridden country in Africa, and living amongst a people suffering from something more than indecisiveness about where to eat dinner out, will have a way of canceling out the debate in my head over whether or not Sawyer is really attractive. (Note: at the moment, I say YES.) For two years, I will get to go to bed every night feeling fulfilled. Or, if not fulfilled, at least sure of the knowledge that I am DOING SOMETHING. No matter how ineffective my attempts may be (and I’m assuming that my actual life there will be a huge reality check for my sweet little idealistic view of the world), I will at least know that I am trying. Also, I might get to sleep under one of those mosquito net thingies, and I’ve always thought they were way cute.
And so I say, Seattle! Bring on your ‘worst storm since ’93’! It would probably be better if I did loose power. Clearly, I’m going to need the practice, and I love any excuse to put cheese on my cat. I’m pretty sure that’s not a euphemism for anything.