The Nutcracker was great. Adorable children, amazing dancing, incredible sets. It was an evening of cultured entertainment, complete with hundreds of little girls in velveteen dresses, and about 17 little boys in uncomfortable shoes. But who needs culture when you can laugh at children with unfortunate names!
It all started when the Lovely Miss Q and I were passing the time before the show started by looking at the names on the program. And we saw someone named Billy Ding. Which was funny enough. Billy Ding! But then we realized that when little Billy grows up, he’s going to have to say to people all the time, “Hi, I’m Bill. Bill Ding.” Ha! Bill Ding! Building! And we laughed. Right there at the ballet, we laughed at some poor little boy who would minutes later dance around in tights for our entertainment. Sometimes life is just really good, you know?
And then! There were 3-ish year old twins sitting in front of us. I use the word ‘sitting’ lightly, as really they were wiggling in front of us, and doing laps in front of us, and turning around and around in front of us. And shouting things like “He had to go to dinner!” when characters left the stage. The Cute-o-Meter was maxing out. The little girl twin, who looked exactly like Cindy Loo Who, turned around in her seat to ask me my name during intermission. I told her, and asked what her name was. And I swear to God she looked at me and said “Dick”. Then she giggled. And with a name like that, it’s a good thing she’s developing a sense of humor early.
Maybe we should introcue her to little Billy! I think Dick Ding has quite a nice ring to it.