Hello everyone! It’s that magical day again! Let’s take stock of the week, shall we?
- Consecutive days with leaf turned over: 5! Yea!
- Number of moles removed from body: 1 (Ew, I know this sounds really gross, but it wasn’t a disgusting mole or anything–it had just changed shape over the last year, and you know what they say about that sort of thing…but then, maybe what you say about this sort of thing is “Kim–don’t say anything about this sort of thing.” If that is the case than I apologize. For the rest of you, pictures will be posted next week.)
- Times Winston Churchill has been squirted in the face with water while looking at me insolently from the windowsill as he bats at the blinds: Umm, what’s that word for the number one with all the zeros after it? Oh. Wow. It’s Googol. I just made the connection. Anyway, that’s how many times Winston has been squirted in the face. He’s taken to wearing a wetsuit around so he can destroy my belongings in peace.
- Units of alcohol consumed this week: 0
- Units of alcohol to be consumed tonight: 1. Or 2. Definitely no more than 2 though.
- Episodes of America’s Next Top Model watched this week: 0. My hearts is empty.
- Skeins of 100% Bamboo yarn purchased: 3. 100% Bamboo people. That is some crazy shit.
- Raises received: 1
It’s been a pretty good week over all. But its about to get better. Are you ready for this? Have you been waiting all week? Because here it is—Part Two of last weeks joke:
Q) What do you get when you put a penis and a potato on a boat?
A) A dictatorship.
I’ll give you a second to climb back on to your chair.
Alright all. This weekends adventures will include cross-country skiing, finishing the GD scarf I’m making for my co-worker so I can finally play with the bamboo yarn, and eating salad.
I hope your weekend finds you similarly occupied, only with more activities that are actually interesting.