Free Cable expired quietly and to little fanfare last night, of unknown causes. Mr. Cable was survived by the DVD player, the VCR, and the stereo.
Free Cable brought joy to the lives of everyone around him, and his loss will be deeply felt. “Free Cable was only expected to be around for about 6 months, so really, every extra day we had with him was a blessing,” said Kimberlee, longtime partner of Free Cable.
During his brief tenure, Free Cable valiantly faced a number of adversaries, including capricious weather, a somewhat precocious cat, and the advent of TiVo. He faced it all with a remarkable amount of courage though, always ready at a moments notice to share the joys of such channels as Comedy Central and VH1. Of particular enjoyment to him were The Travel Channel and The Food Network. “Free Cable really loved Anthony Bourdain”, Kimberlee reminisced with a sad smile, “he really got a kick out of that guy.”
There will be a small, private memorial service for family and friends held in the home of Kimberlee, Friday night at eight.
Rest In Peace, Free Cable