I’m sorry! I’m out of control with the posts today, but I just came across this and I would like to share it with you.
Remember how I had Mexican food for lunch yesterday? And then I complained about my guts hurting?
Well, I just ate the leftovers for lunch today. THE VERY NEXT DAY. Bodes well for my future, no?
P.S. I know both these entries violate the cardinal blogging rule of ‘No one cares what you had for lunch’ but “my guts hurt” is one of my favorite things to say, ever. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Also they are like four sentences long. And I live life on the edge—ask anyone.
How big is my backpack? Or; Things I will miss:
- My family (I assume I will be communicating with my family during my absence—I don’t think the same can be said for cheese. In case anyone was wondering about my priorities. Oh, and I’m a cold-hearted wench.)
- Speaking English
- Being quippy (see speaking English)
- Winston Churchill
- Some television (America’s Next Top Model! Lost! No Reservations! The Daily Show!)
- Friends who have known me for more than three months
- Previews (Often I like them more than the actual movies they represent)
- Microwave popcorn
- The Seattle Public Library System (Books! For Free!!)
- Yarn stores
- Summer in the NW
- Office supply stores
- Being able to spontaneously decide to dye my hair or bake a pie. (I don’t know that I’ve ever in my life spontaneously decided to bake a pie, but I think maybe knowing that I CAN’T do so might make me want to. Maybe. I’ll keep you posted on this one.)
I’m out! Or; Things I will not miss:
- Driving (I know I just said I would miss it. I’m conflicted about this one. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes its awful. Much like reality TV and French accents.)
- My cubicle
- Fox ‘News’
Random things I think are funny! Or; This part has nothing to do with the rest of the post:
- That part in Fletch when Chevy Chase says “Don’t talk to me like that ass-face, I don’t work for you yet.”
- This picture:
That first list is longer than I thought it would be (and by no means complete). Once I started it I couldn’t seem to stop. I know that I am giving all that up (TEMPORARILY) for what will be an amazing experience. Its just that right now ‘amazing experience’ is sort of a vague phrase.
But I tell you what—not having to look at Bill O’Reily’s angry mug for 2 years might be worth the entire experience. Forgetting he exists might be the only thing worth giving up beer and cheese.
My guts hurt. March 29, 2007
Mexican food for lunch. It always seems like a good idea.
But then, at one time so did stirrup pants.
I have a dentist appointment this afternoon, to get my second permanent crown this year. Let this be a lesson to you internet–DO NOT WAIT FOUR YEARS BEFORE GOING TO THE DENTIST! Lack of insurance be damned–sleep with someone if you have to! Just get there!
Luckily for me aside from the astronomical costs associated with these types of procedures, I actually enjoy going to my dentist. In fact, I love my dentist and his dental assistant Janel. They are a veritable tag team of comedy. At my very first appointment (at 8:30 in the morning) I was sitting in the giant chair—waiting for the guilt trip I was sure was coming—when Janel came in and introduced herself. And then she said ‘Dr. Kemper will be in in just a minute. He’s just finishing up his martini.’ With a completely straight face. And that’s when I knew I was home.
And its only gotten better since then. T-Bone recommended Dr. Kemper* to me originally, but since she is an adult and therefore capable of appropriate oral hygiene, she’s never met Janel–only the lady who does the cleanings. She is very nice as well, it’s just that she’s never referred to her co-workers as monkeys, and that is the type of attitude I really enjoy from a person who’s job it is to put her hand in my mouth.
Which brings me to my point. My face. I am a 26 year old human. I’ve never had huge problems with my skin—a couple of ‘issues’ here and there, certainly the worst of which were during high school. So I ask you this: Why THIS morning? And why RIGHT NEXT TO MY LOWER LIP? I mean, it’s like my pores all got together in a dimly lit, smoky room to have a look at my calendar. Well, clearly there are no dates in the near future, so we can’t really do anything there…but wait! What’s this? A dentist appointment? Interesting…very interesting…And that is why I woke up this morning with not one but TWO tiny pimples right below my bottom lip. On any other day, it wouldn’t matter at all. They are so small, and situated in a way that you can’t really even see them. Unless you hover over my face, ask me to open wide, and then SHINE A LIGHT DIRECTLY ONTO MY MOUTH. You know, like at the dentist.
My pores better watch it. I know of a really good exfoliate willing to work for cheap.
*If anyone in the Seattle area needs a dentist that won’t make you feel guilty or a dental assistant that will make you laugh, please give Dr. Kemper’s office a call. Seriously. I LOOK FORWARD TO GOING TO THE DENTIST. And you can too.
Man, I feel like Gold! March 27, 2007
My mood is much improved today, perhaps because last nights Canadian Meat Pie was a total success. Doesn’t it sound like the food of the proletariat or something? Meat. Pie. I had to change into a shirt with a blue collar before I could eat it.
Or perhaps I am feeling better purely out of anticipation for tonight’s episodes of The O.C. I love when T.V. shows and movies have ‘nerdy’ and ‘awkard’ characters who are clearly neither nerdy nor awkward. Enter Seth Cohen:
How a person who looks like this made it through high school alive I’ll never know. I guess we all have our crosses to bear, and his is his terrible affinity for COOL MUSIC. Some people just have to deal with more than their fair share of hardships. Luckily I spent my high school years listening to various Disney soundtracks and watching Blossom, so I have never really known what it is like to feel the sting of being ‘uncool’. And man, I was a HIT my freshman year of college.
In addition to my excitement about leftover meat pie and fictional meat heads, I came back from lunch today to discover that A CRAZY AMOUNT OF PEOPLE had looked at this thing while I was gone. I have no idea why.
Or maybe I do. I mean, when you have interests as diverse and as cool as mine, you get used to being popular pretty fast.
Man, I feel like mold. March 26, 2007
Today I feel like nothing exciting has ever happened to me, and like nothing exciting ever will. There is no reason for this feeling. In fact, I have every reason to feel the opposite. Observe the following reasons that I should not feel like mold:
- I had a good weekend, which included the following:
- The O.C. (My new favorite show. I tried to resist, but you know what they say about that.)
- Annie Hall
- A hearty stew, prepared by The Lovely Miss Q, and possibly also O-N. He was in the kitchen when I got there, but I can’t testify to his actual level of involvment.
- I drew this:
during a game of Cranium, (the clue was ‘Person’) and somehow TLMQ was able to guess INSTANTLY that the answer was Picasso, despite the fact that it could not look less like anything Picasso has ever drawn, AND the fact that across the coffee table O-N was doing a much more respectable job. I wish there had been a camera present to document this epic moment in board game history, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW AWESOME IT WAS.
- (This bullet point, much like my malaise, will not go away. Do your best to ignore it.)
- I stitched, and I bitched.
- I ate french toast for breakfast.
- My glasses are no longer on back-order.
- Tonight I will cook something called ‘Canadian Meat Pie’ for dinner.
I should feel great! Life is good! And yet.
It sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays, and God Dammit, that somebody is me.