Thats What She Said

I'm supposed to be doing something else right now.

Just so you know, I look nothing like this today: March 8, 2007

Filed under: *brain cloud — thats what she said @ 3:02 pm

audrey-hepburn.jpg

Not that I EVER really look like this.  Today especially though—I don’t look like this.  That is my point. 

I just went to the bathroom, and when I was washing my hands (Is that too much information, internet?  Should I have skipped this part?  Should I have let you guess where I was, and why?  At least you know now that I do wash my hands.)  Anyway, so I was washing my hands, vigorously and with lots of soap, when I looked in the mirror.  That’s when I realized that I am wearing a shirt the exact same color of my skin.  Also that I probably went one day too many without showering.  I sort of thought about it this morning, right before hitting that snooze button one more time.  Huh.  Maybe I should get up and shower…Nah…It’s not like I smell or anything.  And people PUT stuff in their hair to make it flat like this.  So, ya know, I didn’t shower.  I realize now that it is probably more likely that people put stuff in their hair so that it DOESN’T look like this, and that is a sad realization to come to at 2 in the afternoon.

Anyway, it was when I was looking in the mirror, struck by my own apathy caused grossness, that I realized once again how awesome the internet is.  Because look!  I am writing this right now, and if I hadn’t TOLD you that I look like I might smell (I don’t!  I doubled up on the deodorant!  I smell like a peach—literally!) you would never know.  And instead of looking at me, you get to look at a picture of Audrey Hepburn, who I’m sure was NEVER lazy enough schlep into work wearing a T-shirt in a pale shade of poo*.  But then, she probably never got to push the snooze button either.  Poor girl.

*Just for clarification, neither my shirt nor my skin are actually the color of poop.  It’s just that once I thought of the phrase ‘a pale shade of poo’ I couldn’t NOT use it, ya know?  I mean, that’s the kind of writing that’s going to win me the Pulitzer, just you wait.    

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