Thats What She Said

I'm supposed to be doing something else right now.

A very small fish indeed April 27, 2007

Filed under: *i joined the what now? — thats what she said @ 11:22 am

Yesterday marked eight weeks since the Peace Corps received my medical packet.  It’s supposed to take between four and six weeks for them to review it.  Since I hadn’t heard from them since they got the thing, I figured I would be pro-active (even though I HATE that term, almost as much as I hate the terms ‘action item’ and ‘outside the box’) and call them up. 

The nurse in charge of my file is named Anthony.  Anthony is efficient and helpful.  Anthony also:

  1. Has a very thick Southern accent
  2. Talks really, really fast, and
  3. Pauses for awkward amounts of time—just long enough, in fact, that I think he is waiting for me to reply, so I start to talk, but then he suddenly continues, and then we are both talking, me at a fairly standard rate and him as if I’ve just raised my paddle in a climactic bid for a stunning 19th century Shaker Hutch.  And then we both sort of stop and wonder what just happened. 

Although I must give credit where credit is due and add that even though I often have no idea what Anthony is saying, all I have to do to get a hold of him is dial a number and enter his extension.  No phone trees, no trying to Articulate Every Syllable to a robot who seems to know every letter beside R, S, T, L, N and E.  Which is more than I can say for Verizon, a company that can turn even me, the most unshakable of optimists, into a suicidal basket case in less then 11 minutes.

So anyway, I let Anthony know that it had been two months and I hadn’t heard anything.  And he said, “Oh yes.  Let me see here…(pause, this one much less awkward)…looks like you should be hearing from us in 45-60 days.”  

FORTY FIVE TO SIXTY DAYS!!!

Oh my.  Apparently I am still ‘right on track’, its just that there are a lot of other people with much higher priority than me.  Like people who are leaving the country in July.  Which I understand—it makes sense that they would need to process those files first.  And I’ve read and been told over and over again that the number one quality a PC volunteer needs to possess is patience.  So.  Here I am, being patient.  Mostly.

The one nugget of good news ol’ Tony was able to give me was that apparently a file can be received and cleared in one day.  It’s just a matter of getting that file in front of the right person.  So it could feasibly be less than ANOTHER TWO MONTHS before I hear.

I suppose this is where that optimism I was mentioning earlier comes into play.     

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The Stranger Hits The Nail On The Head One More Time April 26, 2007

Filed under: *postlets — thats what she said @ 1:57 pm

Unfortunately, I think I am the nail. 

jesus-blog.jpg

Thanks Kit Kat!

 

 

A Text Message From The Lovely Miss Q:

Filed under: *postlets — thats what she said @ 12:39 pm

“You’ve got to title a blog entry ‘Britches and Hose’ talking about underwear and the like.”

Don’t you wish she was your friend too?

 

Now Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Filed under: *Booze,*Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good — thats what she said @ 12:33 pm

Ok.  I am officially over myself.  Sorry for being so…under myself.  I assure you, it was just as uncomfortable for me as it was for you.  I have decided that my job is just that—a job—and while it’s never going to be fun, exactly, it could be much worse and besides—IT ENDS IN ROUGHLY FOUR MONTHS!  And also, The Decemberists are The Decemberists.  That is to say, they are wonderful and I am very lucky to have been gifted with tickets.  (Stay tuned for more evidence of my mind blowing deductive powers!  Up next:  Matter!  Is Matter!  Are you reading this Scientific American?  I am about to rock your world.) 

So.  Moving on.  Tomorrow night I will be attending the second in a series of Ladies Nights.  Do you know what I love about Ladies Night?  This is going to sound sarcastic, but I mean it in the purest, most sincere way you can mean something.  I love that when you get seven women together in a room, they will inevietably end up talking, at length, about two things:

  1. Weddings
  2. Their hair.

Always!  It doesn’t matter that we all have college degrees.  It doesn’t matter that some of us have Master’s degrees.  It doesn’t matter that collectively the seven of us probably spend $200 on hair care in a YEAR.  It doesn’t matter that one of us is already married, and the rest of us are not planning on getting married anytime soon.  None of these things matter.  And I love this.

It’s like we are so careful the rest of the time to make sure we are NOT THOSE GIRLS, that the moment we realize there are no boys around, we BECOME THOSE GIRLS.  And it’s strangely freeing.  It’s an interesting phenomenon, because really, the men in our lives, the males we’ve surrounded ourselves with and chosen to spend our time with—they are hardly chest thumping, uber-MEN with quaint little chuavenistic ideologies.  They respect us.  They know we are smart and equal and all of those things that (some) men used to not know.  It’s not a question of them, really.  

Which is why its so fascinating to me.  And the fact that it’s so fun.  I don’t generally want to talk about color schemes or flattering cuts or ‘motifs’.  But for a couple of hours, sitting surrounded by other women, with the wine flowing and the cheese and the chocolate begging to be consumed, weddings can become fascinating.  Spas become scintillating, and suddenly I find myself giving tips on good pedicures, even though I’ve only had one in my life and it was free.  You can practically smell the estrogen in the air, and right after you get over the grossness of that little olfactory gem, you just want to settle in for a great night.

Unless of course we end up at Kit Kat’s again.  There’s a wii in her living room.  And Ladies Night be dammed—nobody can be content talking about weddings when they have the option of pretending to punch tiny legless people in the face.           

 

No amount of Sunshine or Strippers can make up for bad manners. April 25, 2007

Filed under: *postlets — thats what she said @ 2:41 pm

Message received from T-Bone, after someone called her and then put HER on hold:

T-Bone: god

212

new york

always

i am obsessed with looking up area codes

when people suck

top 3 asshole states

1- NY

2 – CA

3 – FL

i always knew there was a reason i never wanted to go to florida

 

In lighter news…

Filed under: *postlets — thats what she said @ 11:22 am

Someone googled the phrase ‘I have to pee terribly bad’ and they were led to my site! 

Ha! 

I believe this single feat means every writing goal I’ve ever had has been accomplished in one fell swoop. 

—Also—

Dear Person With Urgent ‘Needs’,

Why are you googling about peeing and not, in fact, peeing?

Signed,

A Concerned Fan

 

If you are turned off by the incessant whining of a person who is overall mightily priviledged in life, this is not the post for you.

Filed under: *brain cloud — thats what she said @ 10:49 am

Guess what today is.  Today is National Administrative Professional’s Day.  Yes. 

When I got to work this morning I was presented with a card and two tickets to see the Decemberists next week.  Which is awesome.  I love the Decemberists, and of course it’s lovely to be acknowledged and appreciated as ‘an integral part of the team’.  And yet. 

Somehow it sort of made me feel like shit.  I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to be ungrateful, and if I had been presented with these tokens of appreciation on any other day I would have felt nothing but good.  It means a lot to me that they went out of their way to say thanks, and that they know me well enough to have chosen a gift I will really enjoy. 

But that moment.  When they said “Happy Admin. Day!”  It just feels so patronizing.  I realize that I am abnormally sensitive to this verbiage.  I realize I am being a baby.  But.  

I don’t want to be referred to as an administrative assistant.  Does that really have to define my position within this company?  Can’t I just be Kim, the girl who takes care of other peoples details for a minimal amount of money?

I will be exiting the Pity Train shortly.  I really, really will.  I know that I am lucky in countless ways.  But before I de-board, I just—I went to college, and I have all these grand notions, and I know that I am capable of more than what I’m doing right now.  I also know that you only get as far in life as you’re willing to…take yourself.  Or something.  That is a poorly constucted sentence, but this is my rant and so I’m going to leave it.  I know my current status is solely the result of my own hard work, or the lack there-of.  And I guess that is the crux. 

I’m 26 years old.  And this is my life.  Today I was honored for being really good at paperwork.  And then I had the audacity to complain about it. 

I tell you what—26 sure looks a lot different when you’re 14.