Ah the succinct genius of the text message. The following were found saved in my phone:
Woo-hoo! Let’s go get tattooed!
Three piles of shit last night.
He took his shirt off.
I’m in Kent! (NOTE: Anyone who’s been to Kent will understand that this one is only funny because of the exclamation point.)
Stupid rich people with all their money.
They think they found Jody Huisentruit’s body!
I lost my virginity 5 years ago today.
Beers bong and cake!
Totally had sex last night.
1. I made myself puke last night. 2. I am terribly hung over. 3. How bad is it that we have your coworkers purse?