Thats What She Said

I'm supposed to be doing something else right now.

But I never liked Michelle. July 11, 2007

Filed under: *Daily — thats what she said @ 1:14 pm

Tomorrow I’m heading to Oregon for a family reunion of sorts. What makes this interesting is that while the rest of the family will actually be reuniting (cause it feels so good), I’ll technically be doing what’s known as ‘meeting’ the family—my Dad’s side of the family that is. And in spite of the strangeness of being introduced to blood relatives (‘Hello! Our genetic make-up is quite similar! Do yo like bacon too?’), I think there are some definite advantages to being an adult when those introductions occur. For instance, no one will call me ‘Kimmy’ simply because that’s what they used to call me when I was seven, and even better, no one will call me ‘Kimmy Gibbler’ because that’s what they used to call me when I was seven and watching Full House on a regular basis. These people don’t have to know that I thought Dave Coulier was hilarious or that I used to crimp my hair. ALL of my hair.

Also adults get to drink beer when they feel awkward.

It should be an interesting couple of days. The only downside I see thus far is that my Dad has said they’re going to pick me up at 7:00am tomorrow morning. Which would be fine if I thought there was the slightest chance they were actually going to pick me up at 7:00. However their track record would indicate that they will actually pick me up closer to 7:45. BUT I’LL STILL HAVE TO BE READY AT 7:00, JUST IN CASE! Are you reading this, father of mine? While I have no doubt you are an excellent engineer, I think its fair to point out that you are not the most punctual of souls. Since you’ve promised to buy me breakfast though, I’m going to try to give you the benefit of the doubt. Godspeed!

So I’m off to spend three days hiking and reading and swimming and also explaining why I don’t have a boyfriend and why I have joined the Peace Corps. In my experience family members are the most interested in discussing those two things, and in that order. I wonder if I will also have to explain why I’m a Democrat? Or perhaps my father’s political views are just as big a mystery to his family as mine are to him?


11 Responses to “But I never liked Michelle.”

  1. Dr. Jones Says:

    good night and good luck. ok maybe not good night, but…have fun! did you ever see that movie? it was ok. my family had a reunion in las vegas once. we didn’t really hang out with each other much. us kids couldn’t gamble or drink or even be in the vecinity of the gambling or drinking…wait a minute! those bastards!

  2. Wish I'd Thought of That Says:

    Dang, we always reunion in places where kids are allowed, what were we thinking? Of course, this will actually only be the second time, and since the purpose is to scatter my mother’s ashes according to her wishes, I’m not sure it qualifies as a real reunion.

    TWSS, for the record, two brothers are right wingers like me, one is sort of right wing like me, and the one who lived in a commune and walked on the left side of life died young. A message here? Maybe.

    Maybe a different grouping – two are religious, one isn’t. Two like guns, one has never expressed interest. Two are married, one isn’t. Two don’t smoke, one does. Two like to fish and hunt, one doesn’t. All three liked to make explosive devices as young men, but only one got stitches because of it. One has regular and frequent communications with family members not living under the same roof. One doesn’t. I honestly don’t know if the third does better with other family members than he does with we brothers, but I suspect he does. The preceding groups of two are not always the same two.

    I plan on using Jack Daniels for a social lubricant, not so filling as beer and it looks like iced tea.

    And I still want to know in what way my life would change if I too thought people were more important than borders…

  3. Please don’t force me to sound any more preachy than I already do.

    But while we’re on the subject, I suppose the ways in which YOUR life would change by thinking people are more important than borders isn’t really the point…

  4. Nothing Changes Says:

    How about, how would a random individual’s behavior, someone totally unrelated to He About Whom The World Revolves, be changed if one day said person woke up no longer thinking that said person’s nation is the best one on earth and said person’s nation’s laws, customs and borders should be respected, but instead that borders are less important than people? You want to improve things, tell me why “It’s All About Me” should start thinking the way you think. Well, that’s unreasonable, just tell me how I, or said person, would know that I (said person) thought people are more important than borders.

  5. I went back and read the comment string from before…I still don’t really have any idea what you’re asking me. I suppose my point was (and is) that I think nationalism tends to breed things like racism (not always and I’m not calling you or any of your Republican brethren racists) and other less than tolerant ideologies. Regarding borders, I think that what you tend to see as a security problem (am I way off here?) I tend to see as a…’human problem’ is the only way I can think of to put it. Yes, borders are important, as are upholding American rights and values. But I think that if millions of people are doing whatever they have to to get here–including breaking laws and leaving behind family–then they must be trying to leave behind something pretty bad. Or feel that they are walking towards something pretty good. And I think that as human beings they have a right to reach for anything they can. This country was founded by immigrants–at least the part that wasn’t built on the backs of slaves–and I know you think I’m ten kinds of stupid but I don’t see how we have any right to turn people away. So yes–when it comes to people seeking a better life, or ANY LIFE AT ALL, I think humans are more important than borders. I don’t understand why one life should be considered more valuable than another simply because they had the luck to be born north of the Rio Grande.
    Looks like I went ahead and got all preachy.

  6. Nothing Changes Says:

    Disregarding your gratuitous slavery reference, a key difference between the previous waves of immigration and the current wave of illegal border crossings is assimilation. Certain segments of US society today are bending over backwards to make sure that assimilation is not required, or even beneficial. I have no problem with struggling masses yearning to be free, and making a better life for themselves and their family, but I do have a problem with assuming this is an excuse for breaking the laws of my country to do so, then expecting the invaded country to change to meet the needs and desires of those who broke the law. If things are so bad in the source countries why is there no effort to help make things better back there by these struggling masses? And by what logic does a bad situation in one place make it okay to commit illegal acts and cause problems in another place? We have all the right in the world to control who enters this country, and I believe we allow more legal immigration into the US than any other country in the world. By your reasoning we had best just start the flights in from Africa, eastern Europe, South America and Asia, since all those people have a “right” to be here too, and share in the spoils with the rest of us winners of life’s lottery. What makes the suffering peoples of the rest of the world any different than those just south of our border?

    I’m not saying that the lives of Americans are more important than those of other countries, but they are by no means less important either, and the impact of unlimited illegal entries into this country on the lives of US citizens should be considered.

  7. Why was the slavery reference gratuitous?
    I’m not sure how assimilation can be avoided on a large scale, even if people tried.
    If I were faced with the choice of starving, prostitution, or breaking a law regarding visa’s, I would break the law too.
    And you’re probably right–none of these people are even attempting to ‘make things better’ in their own country. Why it’s so much easier to give up everything and move to Ohio where they are so well received. I mean, one has so many choices when one is desperate.
    Africans would have a much harder time walking here, which was why I was making my point about about people who live to the south of us.
    And gee, I never even considered the impact of immigration on MY country! Thank you for opening my eyes to the plight of middle class white America.
    This has devolved into sarcasm as I am at a loss as to how else to respond.

  8. I feel bad now. You try my patience but I suppose I try yours too.

  9. Nothing Changes Says:

    You are right, of course, slavery is completely relevant to a discussion of nationalism and illegal border crossings.
    Wake up. Lack of assimilation is apparent.
    I had not heard that the choices south of the border are limited to starving, prostitution or coming to America, sounds like another humanitarian crisis bordering on genocide being ignored by the UN. Is Congress aware of this?
    Let’s see, free schooling, free health care via emergency rooms, multilingual signage and ballots, welare – maybe the UN and congress should be alerted to this crisis in Ohio as well?
    My point exactly, if coming to the US for a better life is a God-given, sorry, an innate right, then how can we discriminate against the suffering souls in Africa? Where is your consistency?
    That was apparent, and middle class America is not all white, nor is it the main victim of illegal aliens in this country.
    Whatever. I’m done, again.

  10. If you want to get nit-picky I’d say that the slaves below the Mason-Dixon line probably did find illegal border crossing pretty relevant, and issues of nationalism too, seeing as they were stripped of theirs–but fine, sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up in the context of this debate.
    And hey! Guess what! I am awake. I am capable of being awake and disagreeing with you at the same time.
    If you are satisfied with our current immigration policy–awesome. I’m not.

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