Thats What She Said

I'm supposed to be doing something else right now.

This is one case where i believe excessive punctuation is warrented August 28, 2007

Filed under: *Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good — thats what she said @ 3:32 pm

Y’all, get ready for some serious CAPS LOCK ACTION, and also perhaps a couple of these: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today!!! Right Now!!!! I am currently experiencing my last day at work!!!!

Let me repeat that: MY LAST DAY AT WORK.

Hot dog in a hand basket I’m excited. Not because my job was terrible (although I am beyond excited to start work at a job I feel…what’s that word again? Ah yes, COMMITTED…to) and not because my co-workers weren’t great (they actually were. Super Great.) but because not having an office job apparently leaves me free to write deliriously grammar free sentences like this one. I mean holy hell.

Perhaps I should take a breath…


Tonight I am going out to celebrate with T-Bone and Grandmaster Flash, in honor of those many nights we first spent together four years ago, drinking cheep beers at whatever bar in the U District we ended up at after working the late shift at Barnes and Noble.

I can still remember the first time I met T-Bone. I saw her looking at a copy of Mojo at the magazine rack one night and I remember thinking that her shirt looked cool and so I walked up and said something to her—I’m sure it was something spectacular and witty like, “So, you like Mojo?” and she must have replied enthusiastically because T-Bone says almost everything enthusiastically and so I offered her a ride home and suddenly we were having one of those conversations where you just have too much to say and you just KNOW that this person will be your friend. And then she was.

I don’t remember meeting Grandmaster Flash. I remember hearing his name one morning in the break room when somebody stumbled in looking especially bleary eyed and when another co-worker ask how they were they said they had been out with Grandmaster Flash the night before. Everyone in the room sort of nodded knowingly and I was intrigued. And then suddenly, probably less than a week later, I was the one stumbling into the break room bleary eyed, having been initiated into GmF’s unique style of drinking (1. Start Drinking, 2. Don’t Stop Drinking) and GmF was my friend and it was like he had always been my friend and I had never not known him. He is sort of ninja like in his friend-making powers.

Now I am trying not to imagine my life without these two people in it. Though they have shown me nothing but support from beginning, it seems wrong somehow, to be planning this adventure without them. I can’t wait for them to visit me.

It would appear that I have gone from ‘ALL CAPS LOCK OH MY GOD LIFE IS SO AWESOME’ to ‘sniff sniff shit I’m leaving all these people that I love’ in about four paragraphs. Damn.

I’ll miss you guys.



Now It’s For Real August 24, 2007

Filed under: *Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good,*i joined the what now? — thats what she said @ 9:34 am

I’ve got flight reservations! To the east coast! I’ve pretty much been walking around looking like this:


for the last week or so. You could say I’ve been in a good mood.

As well I should be—it’s Friday, my LAST FRIDAY EVER AT WORK, I’m typing this on my new laptop (again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK to Dad and Lisa) and in a few short hours I am leaving to spend the weekend camping with 12 of my closest friends! Life is good.

I aopolgize for the relative boringness of this post…there is just too much going on right now! So here, look at this cute picture of my cat:

Hello, I am undeniably cute.


live!!! From my lap… August 22, 2007

Filed under: *Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good — thats what she said @ 7:49 pm


This is the most exciting thing ever!



T Minus 29 Days August 21, 2007

Filed under: *Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good,*i joined the what now? — thats what she said @ 3:08 pm

I received an email from the Peace Corps’ Cameroon Desk (Do you think there is a desk somewhere in DC painted like the Cameroonian flag? I do.) stating that my staging packet was mailed yesterday. Which means that by the end of the week I could be in possession of plane tickets.

Other miscellaneous things I am already in possession of include a roll of duct tape and a fake wedding ring.

I guess that means I’m ready.


10 August 15, 2007

Filed under: *Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good,*i joined the what now? — thats what she said @ 1:37 pm

In honor of the fact that I am down to just 10! Remaining! Days! At! Work!, here is a Top 10 list for you.

Top Ten Reasons I Joined The Peace Corps

10. Mosquito nets look cool.

9. I’ve never really been that into bathing regularly.

8. To find me a man.

7. Tom Hanks made a movie about it.

6. I’ll do anything to feel closer to the Kennedy family.

5. I’m totally over 1st world countries.

4. After these two years I can totally be an asshole for the rest of my life because that is how karma works.

3. Since I joined, people have felt compelled to buy me fun electronics.

2. I will be one step closer to achieving my goal of drinking a beer on every continent.

1. It was free.


Office Space August 14, 2007

Filed under: *postlets — thats what she said @ 3:21 pm

Two girls in my office just got into a shouting match. About, you know, work stuff that is only interesting to people within 10 feet of this building and even then it’s not that interesting.

But still—pretty exciting afternoon! Thank god it will soon be over. (Ten more work days! TEN!!!)

I’m pretty sure there’s no shouting in Cameroon, but if there is at least it will probably be in French and therefore sound pretty and sophisticated. And if there is one thing people say about me it’s that I fall down a lot. But the other thing that people say about me is that I always shout prettily and sophisticatedly. I shout almost as good as I write.


I had hoped that professing my love for the new kids on the block would be the most embarassing part of this entry. Damn. August 13, 2007

Filed under: *Cheese; Or, Stuff That's Good,*Daily — thats what she said @ 11:12 am

I went home this weekend for yet another BBQ in the long string of BBQ’s that has become my life. I would claim to have achieved professional BBQer status, except that I have yet to do any actual work at any of the BBQ’s I’ve attended, so really I’ve become more of a professional eater of BBQed food, and honestly, I believe I originally claimed that title back in 1988. But anway.

This BBQ was held in Salem, OR, at the lovely home of some long-time friends of the family. Although really not so much friends of the family as people who used to see me naked regularly, and are able to recall with stunning accuracy just how deep my love for Joey McIntrye once was. (Note: It was very deep. My BFF Monica and I would stage elaborate productions in which we would not only meet Joey McIntrye and Jordan Knight, but also conveniently distract/ditch the other three dudes because I’m sorry Danny Wood I’m sure you are a lovely human being and are currently married to a gem of a girl but my 11 year old self? Was just was not that into you. Donny and Jonathan? We could take you or leave you but mostly we were interested in leaving you so that we could commence with the hand holding with Joey and Jordan because people WE WERE 11. Also, just so you know Monica and I would always fight over who ‘got’ Joey because he was totally the cutest and she was older than me and would always win so I always ended up with Jordan but then I would pretend that I totally wanted Jordan in the first place and the best part of this whole thing is that we REALLY THOUGHT IT MATTERED. LIKE, WHAT IF SOMEDAY WE REALLY DID RUN INTO THEM AND WE HADN’T PREARRANGED WHO GOT TO HOLD HANDS WITH WHOM? I have now talked way to much about NKOTB and my prepubescent love for them. I apologize. I also apologize for using the word prepubescent. Twice.)

Anyway, I went to Salem for a combination Happy Birthday/Where Are You Going Again?/Wow./Good Luck With That You Freak Party, and it was strange and good very nice to see people that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. (See above far too detailed and ultimately pointless Note regarding just how long it had been.) I ate friend chicken and tried to keep up with Monica who has graduated from a love of NKOTB to a love of daiquiris. Alas, I could not and switched to beer midway through the afternoon because I am a failure as a girl.

Speaking of beer, I didn’t drink nearly of it. Because at some point in the evening my mother commenced giving the Longest Speech Known To Man. Which is already a little embarrassing what with the standing awkwardly looking at the 13 remaining guests most of whom barely know me while being talked about in glowing but also slightly intoxicated terms but people I wasn’t even allowed the dignity of standing awkwardly. No, I was made to sit (awkwardly) on a ‘throne’ while wearing a sash (which said Miss Africa and actually I thought that was pretty hilarious if only for the sheer irony of the visual) and holding flowers and a LIGHT UP WAND THING and wearing a LIGHT UP TIARA THAT KEPT FALLING OFF MY HEAD BUT I WASN’T ALLOWED TO JUST HOLD PLEASE CAN’T I JUST HOLD ON TO IT? NO. So there I sat for a Lovely and Heartfelt and Long Speech and did I mention that it was the Longest Speech Ever? How long was it, you ask? I’ll tell you. It was so long that my sister, who was filming the incident, had to interrupt to say that the camera had RUN OUT OF BATTERIES. Glory Hallelujah. But lo that did not stop my mother. (I was however thus saved from the fear that someday when I run for president I will have to worry not only about the illusive and credibility destroying ‘Streak-O De Mayo ’99’ video but also the one where my Mommy said nice things about me and also used the word ‘crowning’ at some point while she was talking for a Very Long Time.)

In conclusion, I spent about 11 hours in my car this weekend, and roughly the same amount of time smiling/holding back tears/making ‘wrap it up’ motions with my hands. Thanks Mom. And I’d just like to say, “Ditto”.